Madame Doofay and the Six Sugar Candy Skulls by FE Clark

magic stone

“I see six be-jewelled skulls, atop six crystal pillars.”

I regard the seventh skull-shaped gummy chew, stuck on the top of my middle finger. Swivelling its grinning face round I flip the world the bird; waiting for Madame Doofay to reply.

“The skulls will speak to you of the way ahead.”

This dame is a bit off tangent.

The skulls were a gift from Jason, from the festival, I had not been invited. I had moped all weekend, delighted when he had turned up with the bag of sugared candy, soured only by talk of Felicity who had shared his adventures.

“The sixth has a message for you.”

I hold the telephone mouthpiece further away. Swallow. Skull six, yellow I think. It keeps its own counsel. I dip the seventh skull into my gin and tonic and watch the sugar fizz, then slurp.
“This is no laughing matter.”

“I’m….not…laughing.” A fizzle of gin and sugar goes down the wrong way. “I just want to know about Jason, that’s all.”

BEEP.

“Time’s up my dear, if you wish to pay for a second session please press the star key now.”
Coughing sour gin and sugar, I hit the star key.

BEEP.

“I am Madame Doofay, I scry my crystal-ball for you – what is it you wish to know?”

“It’s still me,” through the coughing.

“Me who dear?”

“…….. about Jason.” I fling myself onto the floor, head between my knees, choking.

“Ah, I see in my crystal-ball a proud young man, smiling at an amber-haired beauty.”

Felicity has amber hair, I bet she even bought the darn skulls.

I throw up the sugary mess, but something is still stuck and I retch.

“The crystal never lies, my dear. I see six pillars of crystal and six skulls – the sixth skull will tell you your truth.”

BEEP.

“Time’s up my dear, if you wish to pay for a second session please press the star key now.”
“HELP! Can’t…..breathe.”

I drop the phone. From where I lie I hear the BEEP, then, no more.

The yellow sixth skull melts away, mission accomplished.

Follow FE Clark on Twitter: @feclarkart

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